I’m in need of a vent

29 Jan
If you don’t want to read a ton of venting please don’t read

Listening to: Rammstein

Y’all need to know something about me,
I’m a stresser. I can get very anxious/ stressed out
and just about go into a panic attack at times.

One of those moments was about half an hour ago.

As you know, I’m living with my Aunt, Uncle, and cousin.
Well within the last week, my cousin’s cousin (not
related to me), let’s call him CT, has stayed the night over
here 3 times in the last 4 days.

This wouldn’t be a problem if he didn’t get on my last nerves.
Everything to him is “F*** this, F*** that” He’s so
disrespectful to everyone, and he’s rubbing off on
my cousin. I can take CT in small doses, but this has been too much.

With CT comes way too much drama for my liking.
Whether he’s being mean to his mom, or anyone,
it’s really getting annoying. I just want him to stop staying
over here.

Both my cousin and CT smoke, but over here, they
go outside. Well we had to go to his house earlier
where everyone but me was smoking.
I thought we were only going to be there for a
few minutes and then leave. We went there to get CT’s books,
and I had to drive. Well I didn’t get out of the car at first thinking
this would be a quick trip, when my cousin called me to
come in (gah!). So I went in, and we were there
for like an hour and a half. By the time
we finally left, my clothes smelled like smoke, and I could taste
it in my mouth(gross).

When I’m in a bar, smoke doesn’t bother me, because I
know I can go outside or leave, but with this I had no where
to go. To top it off, they were talking about drugs (they being
cousin, CT, his mom, and her b/f) That’s where the anxiety started for
me. I’ve never done anything, and never plan on it. I’ve seen too much
of that in my life to want to do that. I felt so naive because of that.
All I wanted to do was to get out of there ya know?

Anyways, so we get back home, I’m hungry, and the boys
ask me what I’m making for dinner (WTF?) I say whatever you make.
I made nachos from the leftovers and went to the computer
room so I could get away from them playing Call of Duty.
Brought my computer back there so I could hide for a bit.
All of a sudden I hear CT yelling at someone on the phone (gah).

Well that sums up the cause for the stress/ anxiety.
Thanks for reading, I just really needed to let it out
where they can’t hear lol.

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