A much needed update

12 Jan
Hey guys!!
I’m sorry I haven’t been on here
in a couple of days. I finally made it here
Thursday, and I’ve been going ever since.

I’m loving my life over here. I’ve been
playing my violin a lot more, and just
hanging out with my family.

Here’s a wrap up of the last couple of days:
Hung out around the house, and Friday
night we went to the church and helped
clean it up after a wedding a few days before.

Hung around the house once again.

Church, mexican for lunch (:D) with
some more family members. It snowed a bit that night 😀

Didn’t go anywhere because of said snow.
Hung out with the fam most of the day.
Watched Auburn win the National Championship!!!

Went to the base for my aunt’s Dr.’s appt.
Had my lesson (which sucked, but keep reading for the details)
Fell asleep early (finally! I live with night owls apparently lol)
Found a ring at a vintage jewelry store that the owner called
the “Cinderella Ring” because a ton of people would come in and
look at it, try it on, and it wouldn’t fit their pinkies. I tried it on
and it fit perfectly! After the owner told me what they called it,
I said “Then I guess I’m Cinderella!” lol 😉 Sent a pic of it to
Trav and told him I had found my engagement ring lol.

Went to the base for my cousin’s Dr.’s appt.
Had Taco Bell (I know), watched t.v. while the rest of my family
took a nap (what the crap?!)

Now for the lesson part of the story:
I was super nervous all day yesterday for my lesson.
Not in a “I’m afraid I’m going to be horrible” kind of way,
more like “I’m really excited for this.”

So I went through the whole day nervous, when the
time finally came for my lesson. My heart was racing,
and my palms were sweaty. I got in the room,
and told my teacher I was really nervous. He smiled
and said there’s nothing to be worried about. So I pull out my
violin, and he wants me to play something. So I play scales
because I like playing scales. He asked me if I had a piece prepared.
Well I had been working on something my aunt found for me and
printed out. But I had only played it over a 2 day span. But I
played it anyway.

Well it was HORRIBLE! But I was ok with it
because I knew it wasn’t going to be very good.
He then pulls out one of the books I brought with me.
He told me to play this easy cheesy piece. He told me I was good.
I was on pitch, I know how to use the bow, but I wasn’t holding the bow right!
For the next 20 minutes, he showed me how to hold the bow (gah!).
He then asked me what I wanted to do. I said get my Bachelor’s degree
in music, then get my Grad degree in Music Therapy.

He told me I should go for something other than
a performance degree because I’m not good enough
to be able to equal up to everyone else going there.
Can you believe that?!

He basically said that because I didn’t start at the age of 4,
and didn’t go through the proper steps, that I was
at a disadvantage for going to this school (WTF?)
To which I said, “I want a challenge though. I really like
to be challanged when it comes to music.”
To which he replied, “This is would be above a challenge
for you. It would be like me wanting to go to Harvard
Law tomorrow.”

He basically told me that he couldn’t be
my teacher, and that he would put me with
one of the Grad Students studying there and
working with the Prep Division. A girl that’s
only a couple of years older than me!
(I am scheduled to have my first lesson
with her Wenesday at 11 AM. She seemed
nice on the phone)

This whole story boils down to this:
I am so tired of being put down for me
wanting to follow my dreams. I really wish things
could be better. I can’t help the fact that my dad
is a musician and doesn’t make enough money to
get me lessons since I was 4. Money has always been an
issue in my family. Don’t get me wrong, we’re
not broke, but my mom was the only one
with a steady income while I was growing up.
Most of that went to pay bills, and we lived off of whatever
my dad made with gigs. But by no means
did we have enough for me to have lessons while I was
growing up.

It makes me wonder how many people are just like me?
How many people haven’t been able to afford violin lessons
their whole life, but have the drive to want to succeed at it?
How many people have been judged and put down after
one lesson? It’s a really sucky situation that people that
have grown up with disadvantages have to live that
way their entire lives because no one will give
them a helping hand. I really hope I’m not the only one out there.

Well if you’ve stuck with me this long, I thank you!
I really needed to get that out and spread the word
of how much pain this has put me through (literally
at one point last night, I thought it was the end
of my life as I knew it, and that I had no plan
for the rest of my life)

Well if you have anything to share,
please leave it in the comments below.

I hope y’all are well!


One Response to “A much needed update”

  1. ms. adventures January 12, 2011 at 5:36 pm #

    Regroup, regroup, regroup! That's what I've had to do over here so many times, (especially trying to get home!) that now it's just become part of me :]
    Yes, your first lesson teacher could've been a little more gentle with his reaction, but if you're the Coop I know & love, you like honesty over lies, and that seems to be how he delivered his response.
    Know that you are missed (& supported!) from all the way across the Atlantic :]
    – rockl

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